fmylife.com
“Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song ‘Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E.’ She then turned to me and said ‘Mom, I want to be a hooker.’ FML”
-Angel Avila
mymomisafob.com
“Aladdin’s death”
Mom: Are you glad Aladdin was killed?
Me: You mean Bin Ladin?
-Charlene Tran
mylifeisaverage.com
“Today, I went to the cinema with the girl I’ve had my eye on for a while. I sat next to her with my arm on the armrest, my hand lying open, hoping she would take it. About one half hour into the film, she put a piece of candy into my hand and said, ‘If you wanted candy, you could of just said so!’ MLIA.”
-Emilee Maciel
textsfromlastnight.com
(714): “Sitting in my room in a shopping cart. They couldn’t get my legs out of the holes. I want breakfast.”
-Emilee Maciel
